Real breastfeeding journey….

Even though I’m not a 1st time mummy, but breastfeeding is definitely the 1st experience for me.
When I was pregnant with Aree, It had never come across my mind to fully breastfeed him. In my mind, I just wanted to breast feed him during my confinement itu pun plus with formula milk... when I flash back; I regretted it...If only I could turn back time.

For my 2nd pregnancy, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake like I did. How did I start to realize that breastfeeding is crucial I must say? Well, a friend of mine inspired me to breast feed! She is a 1st time mom, committed to exclusive breastfeeding and cloth diapering her baby, so I said to myself why not me? I know it’s hard, but if other people can do it why can’t I? So, I began to Google all about breastfeeding and cloth diapering. I was amazed to know that nowadays many modern mama is breastfeeding their babies! In my heart says, I am so far behind….

When I was 7 or 8 weeks pregnant with Ryan, I said to my self that I wanted to breastfeed my baby. I kept telling that to my self everyday. I also kept telling to my hubby almost everyday about how eagerly I was wanted to breastfeed. And warned him that I wanted his support for this..Being a loving husband...he just nod and just said "ok..Anything you want dear".. hehehhe..

Thank to god al-mighty, until now (my baby is coming to 3 months this 22nd Jan) I exclusively breastfeed him. It’s like a rewarding experience to me. Even though it is not that easy as it looks like, but I keep telling my self that this is for my baby’s sake..apa yang my friend cakap memang betul..mesti mau kasi kuat semangat.. at fisrt I’m not used to have a baby fully breastfeed by me ( Aree was bottle feed, so whenever he was hungry for milk, anyone can bottle feed him.).everything must be me..and the baby, I have to feed him like every hour..i got sore nipple, engorge etc etc....but still I keep my spirit high.. further more, I invested RM 1800.00 to buy Medela FS from Aja ..mesti pakai wo.kalu tidak rugi…

When Ryan was 5 weeks old, he was diagnosed with breastmilk jaundice..i was so down.. but the doctor asked me to continue with breastfeeding..unlike my mom, she keep telling me to mix with formula..being a stubborn daughter..i against it. But I gave up when Ryan 6 weeks old, the bilirubin level rose up, I almost gave up, but something in me said, I’ve come that far, why should I give up? Things happen for a reason..it's impossible god created women to breast feed their babies just to harm them?no such thing la..
Tapi sia mengalah jugak la..my mom asked me to gave Ryan 6 oz a day of formula milk..and thank god..after few days his bilirubin level went dowm..

Now, I used to it! With an advice from my friend – Erna, and also Aja whom I know thru email (I bought Medela FS from her) I can overcome all the obstacles! I pump 5 times a day at work and at home, even though my EBM stock is not that much..only cukup cukup but I’m happy. Puas hati to see my Ryan growing…knowing that all the goodness come from me..not from “sapi” (cow la)hahahhaha..my husband also get used to it..at least malam malam he doesn’t has to wake up to feed Ryan..siok la dia…

There are more of my 1st time breastfeeding experience to share, but I’ll write it down sikit sikit la…For first time mom out there or those who is never experience the real breastfeeding, think about it again..i know it’s hard…but God Al Mighty created us- women spiritually strong, I know each of us are unique, I know we can handle this..It’s a matter we want or we don’t want! Anyway, it’s really a personal choice, to breastfeed or not to breastfeed..

Till then…